A Reality Tour


Melbourne: Transcript and Video Files



Thanks to Emma Harty for the transcripts, Simone Metge for the video "crummies" (although we don't think they are too crummy at all!) and Jacqui Matheson for the text editing.



Feb 26, 2004


1. REBEL REBEL

So…Melbourne you crazy mother fuckers, how you doing? It’s so great to be back, it really is. On with some music.


2. NEW KILLER STAR

Well thank you. (Muffles something under voice, unclear)


3. FAME

(In strange voice) What a nice tiara. There’s a nice looking girl in the front here with a tiara...on her head. Very nice. What’s your name? (Yells from audience) Look, I got these in I can’t hear, I’ll get you next time. She’s actually talking to me, that’s great.

(Beginning of Cactus)
There was an American band…in the late 80’s that we really liked they’re called The Pixies. Yeah! This is one of their songs, it’s called Cactus.





4. CACTUS



5. REALITY



So, what did you say your name was? Pass it along like Chinese whispers. Oh, Derrick! (Laughs from audience) That’s what happens with Chinese whispers!

You know, um, it’s not too late. Just think about this in your lives. You know I don’t know what you’ve done so far…cut me finger (aww's from crowd). That was a lie I just wanted the sympathy vote, um. You think about this, you’ve got to sing a song with the artist on stage, right? So this is a good time to do it, yeah? You up for singing something?

(Beginning of guitar solo)

Go for this one!!




6. ALL THE YOUNG DUDES


I forgot, I need a mic in a place like this.

That was really excellent, that was, that was really good. Um, so we’re gonna switch between new and older stuff, stuff you don’t know, stuff you do know. Is that cool?

We got lots of time; it’s going to be quite a long show!

(Cheers)


7. CHINA GIRL



Eurovision kiss! (wooh's from crowd) I don’t actually know what Eurovision is but I’ve heard some of you talking about it before we came on. They said (Australian accent) "Oh, we’re going to miss the Eurovision contest are we?"

It’s not the Grammy’s it’s the Oscars, when are they? Sunday, Monday? (Crowd replies Monday)

(Laughs) This is just television chit-chat! No harm in that, bit of television chit-chat. You’ve got nowhere else to go. I’m not going anywhere!

(Cheers)

Here’s an old one!


8. HANG ON TO YOURSELF


9. THE LONELIEST GUY

Thank you very much! As you guessed, that was one of the new songs, from my album Reality…You’ve all got…You’ve all got the album Reality right under your seats there, right?. Before the show, guys up there in the back, I haven’t forgotten you either; we put a free copy of the album under every seat in the building. (Laughs from crowd) Oh never mind! Next show!

This song goes back to 1970 & it’s called The Man Who Sold The World.

(Cheers)


10. THE MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD

We haven’t done this one a lot on tour, so we thought this would be good night to do it. It’s ah, comparatively new. It’s a gentle little piece, biographical on one of the greatest artists in history. It’s called No-one Called Pablo Picasso an Asshole.


11. PABLO PICASSO


12. HALLO SPACEBOY


13. SUNDAY


14. HEATHEN (THE RAYS)

Thank you, that was a couple of songs from the Heathen album. Um, at times like this I really think I should introduce my band. (Cheers)

Do you know this occasions an exception, so, I’m going to introduce you to my band. Okay guys! Over there with the tiara is Jasmine, I’m afraid I’ll have to stop there right now cos’ that’s the only name I know! I’ll get a list by the end of the evening…oh alright I give in!

On guitar, been working with me on and off since 1974, Mr. Earl Slick. Just a tad older, just a lamb’s cock older is Mike Garson on keyboards.

Oh, there’s some very cool outfits in the audience tonight. Look at these two, you look like a couple of…what are those assassins, up there the ones with the white masks on. Oh, there they are, look at these two, look at these two up there! Light, Mr. Light Man look, listen to me Light Man, if I point up there probably means I…Look at these guys, that’s pretty cool, yeah?

What do you think this is a contest? (Laughs) Don’t worry you win!

Where am I? Oh yeah! That’s very good! Oh, on keyboards, guitars, congas, mandolins, ah... all kinds of other things and vocals, Catherine ‘Cat’ Russell. Oh, you know why I’m late, I get completely lost! It doesn’t matter does it!? On drum-kit, Sterling Campbell, very, very fine drummer. Ah, great guitarist, although he’s from Ireland, Gerry Leonard!

(Band sings Happy Birthday to Gerry)

Little treat for there Gerry, yeah we all pitched in together to get you that. You see it was his birthday, you got it, right? Yeah!

In the 80’s I wrote this song with Freddie Mercury…of Queen. Very, very happy, ah, it’s just a privilege to have singing Freddie’s part tonight on this particular song, Gail Ann Dorsey.


15. UNDER PRESSURE

Gail…you know Gail’s a real tennis fan, she’s so excited to be here. (Asks Gail) Why’s that? (Gail shows basketball size tennis ball to crowd) She’s got an amazing set of balls; you’ve got great balls haven’t you Gail?

Gail: Yeah, this is a good one. This is the biggest one

David: Big balls. You could knock that about. She’s so happy to be here! I keep telling her not yet not yet. When was that?

Gail: oh, we missed it!
David: Oh, well we better come back later!

(Cheers)

(Yells) How you doing out there? I see you at the back there; I see all of you right at the very top! I do, you don’t believe me do you? Okay, I’ll tell you how much I can see...Um, that girl up there in the red jumper, with the little tiny butterfly embroidered onto the top of your pocket. Very, very back row. No, not you…that’s it! See… (Laughs) What you turning round for? You know I can’t see up there!

Play the music



16. LIFE ON MARS?

Feels good. I went up the back to pretend I was going to look up from a porch step at Mars. Ah, interpretive singing. Didn't really come off, I won’t do that again.

There’s a song that I wrote last year, I don't know, last year, maybe the year before. It was a character that was on American TV, I'd like to take you way back to the late 1970's and introduce you to Uncle Floyd.


17. SLIP AWAY

Thank you. Poor old Uncle Floyd. Um, if you like these they’re called stylophones and I’ve got about 7 or 8 with me so after the show I’ll be out the back and if anyone wants to buy one from me…we’ll negotiate, I’m not giving you a price right now because some of you might want to pay more than I’m thinking in my head!


18. LOOKING FOR WATER

They're saying ‘When’s he going to do an old one again?’ Well it might be now, mightn't it? Huh, what are the chances?

(Beginning of Starman)
You’ve gone all shy haven’t you!


19. STARMAN

Thank you! How you doing? Alright?
Good evening, I’m David Bowie and this is my band.

We’re really going back now, this one's from an album called Hunky Dory. (Cheers) It's fairly new to us, I'll be quite honest with you, I’m reading some of the lyrics for this one 'cos it's new to us.


20. QUICKSAND

Thank you.

Sometimes feel like I wrote this song for so many people, um, it’s a new song. I hope you like it, it’s called Days.


21. DAYS


22. WHITE LIGHT, WHITE HEAT

Cool, let’s got to space!


23. ASHES TO ASHES

Mike Garson on keyboards.

Now a few songs about tension. (Laughs) Hold on, I’m just finding some tension…right there.


24. PANIC IN DETROIT

We’ve had a really lovely evening here tonight. Hope you’ve had a good one!

These two sad, very poignant songs are both very different.


25. I’M AFRAID OF AMERICANS

But there’s always honour somewhere in the back there. There is always a future and there is always some kind of hope, yeah? There has to be for our sakes.


26. "HEROES"

Thank you so much!!

(Continuous cheering until David re-emerges.)

Hi, I’m David Bowie. This is my band and welcome to our show. How you doing?

Okay, we’re throwing out a lot of new stuff to you. We’ve done this one twice so far on tour I think. Ah, we are beginning to like it a lot. But, you may have another opinion but we’re going to do it anyway!

Ah, let’s hit it. I’m serious. Oh god!


27. TRY SOME, BUY SOME

Thanks a lot. It’s a lovely song, it was written by George Harrison but the first time I ever heard it was as a single in 1974 by Ronnie Spector and that’s the version I fell in love with. Anyway glad you liked that one. Okay.


28. FIVE YEARS

Thank you. Let’s stay right there shall we, let’s stay right there!


29. SUFFRAGETE CITY

Mwah! (Blows kiss)


30. ZIGGY STARDUST

We’re having a hell of a time in this mad old country of yours! Thank you very much; we’re just doing great, thanks for coming tonight!



Feb 27, 2004


1. REBEL REBEL

Hi Melbourne how you doing? Alright? It’s good to be here, yet again! Ah...We’ll get on with the music, then we’ll chat!


2. NEW KILLER STAR

We redecorated the set just a little bit tonight, so it’s a bit different yeah? That’s got 30 of you happy. (Laughs)


3. FASHION

Thank you very much! Ha... I shall be doing the rest of this evening's show in the disguise of a sheepdog! I don’t know what got into me tonight, it was a good idea but it doesn’t really work.

I know you’re there!

(Yells) Let me hear you say it! Let me hear you say "Cobblers!" Right, you are there.

This song was by The Pixies.


4. CACTUS

(Turns to band) You know what, before you change your guitars let’s think about doing…uh…Waiting for you, yeah? That would be nice to do that. Is that cool?

(To audience) Thing is you see, I control the set list. They might think they do but you know…

(To band) Okay we’ll do Waiting For You then if you want to, okay Gerry?

Yeah, band aid's falling off. I put this on so it looked like I was an addict. It’s good for street cred.

This is a Neil Young song.


5. I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU

I can see that none of you are not too grown up to not want to do a sing-a-long, yeah? Right listen…right listen, I’m the only grown up here. Believe me and I’m really grown up! (Laughs) I swear.

But see we’ve got a little system here, I divide…this is Eurovision (blows kiss), I divide the hall into two parts. Everybody on this side sings the chorus and everybody on this side sings the chorus!

Join in when you want!


6. ALL THE YOUNG DUDES

That was too good! That was too good! You’re expert at this shit!

Well I suppose you better do the next song then…on your own!


7. CHINA GIRL (TRUNCATED)
(Lets audience sing intro)

Do you know something? You are the first audience that’s actually known how to sing that first verse! On the whole of this tour! Really, that says a lot to me! Your not all platy-pie-conchers here are you. I must tell you we went to see the platy…where is it Healville Natural Resort we went up there the other day. It’s a scream isn’t it? Can’t believe, a bunch of grown up people cuddling wombats, stroking platypies' bills. We came; I can’t tell you what we stunk like by the time we got home. It was so cool; it’s such a great place there.

Sorry! Ah…anyways, where were we? Oh we’re going to do this song…Okay I’ll sing it then for you. Do keep on going! I don’t mind at all.


Video file from Simone.



8. CHINA GIRL

(Laughs) I shouldn't have held these up! I'm getting rained on by Australasian animals. Hit by 15 marsupials (Deep Australian accent) "David Bowie was hit by 15 marsupials last night and came crashing to the stage and lay unconscious for the rest of the show. Fortunately having an extremely talented audience who did the good thing and sang every other song for him! It's the only audience in the world which is capable of doing that."

What, am I just brown nosing you? No I mean it, I do mean it! The Man Who Sold The World!


9. THE MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD

Thanks a lot. Ah…We’ve been doing this one recently. We’ve got to like it, it’s off the new album.

(Laughs) …these guys down here. (Scottish accent, Sean Connery?) One minute they were a rock band called The Flaming Lips, the next they were miniaturised on the stage, in a place we call…the Twilight Zone. The twilight zone!


10. PABLO PICASSO

Here’s something we haven’t done before in Aus. Two or three, three or four? What should we do? About four pieces from the Low album. Just the songs, just the singing things! Doesn’t mean you can sing along with these though 'cos they’re moody and I’m supposed to look moody and real alone on these. So if I’m like singing along to this thing about how lonely I am and I’ve got like thousands of voices singing with me it’s just gonna, like, deconstruct the set.

How you doing, alright?

Why do rock people do that, it’s such a cheap response-getter.

(Yells) How you doing, okay? Let’s rock, Melbourne! Well we are not going to rock right now; this is called Sound and Vision.


11. SOUND & VISION

Okay…Do we have any injuries? No, we’re fine. Right next one, this is also off Low. Well these four, I explained these four songs were off Low, right? I did say that, did I? Well then perhaps now I should say this one is too.

It’s only me I’m mad at.


12. ALWAYS CRASHING IN THE SAME CAR

Thanks very much. Thank you.


13. BREAKING GLASS


14. BE MY WIFE


15. LET'S DANCE


16. SLIP AWAY


17. HEATHEN (THE RAYS)

Those were a couple of pieces from an album called Heathen.

Before I introduce everyone who's on stage with me I’d like to thank a brilliant young band who's been working with us as support in Australia, Something For Kate, big hand. They're really fine, they’re really great.

Um…Anyway when I went to the reserve you know like the kangaroos…there’s a lot of them right, and they go as a herd and they move very fast. I thought, you know back in New York I’ve got this thing called a Zappy which is like a scooter, 'cos I’m a grown up it’s got an electric engine on so you don't have to do that (imitates someone scooting). You just stand on it and kind of go through New York. So I thought wouldn’t it be cool to get one of those and put a huge, great big kangaroo suit on it. You saw that film where they have the birds flying along and the big plane goes with them and it looks like you’re flying with the birds. Have you seen that movie? Big movie, isn’t it good? Well I thought you could do that with kangaroos, you know. So I tried that out I put a big kangaroo suit on, on the Zappy but cos’ my *(indistinct*) and all the other kangaroos got jealous and they wanted to do that as well so they tried to skid along and they started crashing into trees and into each other and getting bloody noses, eyes were coming out and it turned into a blood bath. Oh…I’ll tell you more about it; it's just an awful story.

On lead guitar, I suppose that’s a lead guitar could you call that a lead guitar? Earl's worked with me since 1974, Earl Slick. The young gentleman on keyboard pips me by a couple of years, 1972 he's been working with me on and off…Mike Garson people.

Someone who now feels almost like an old timer in this band but she’s such a welcome thing to have in the band. Someone who can actually play the congas rather than just have them stand there looking cool and plays the keyboards, plays guitar, oh where’ve you gone, oh yeah, plays mandolin, does vocals and everything. This is Catherine ‘Cat’ Russell. 

Sterling worked with me beginning with Black Tie, White Noise he’s also worked with me on the Outside album and numerable others, Sterling Campbell.

From Ireland, what more need I say; Gerry Leonard on another lead guitar. Just pronounce the word different and you could be lead guitar and you could be lead guitar (laughs). Oh forget it!

Um, this is a song I wrote with Freddie Mercury back in the 80's and singing Freddie’s part on this is the fabulous Gail Ann Dorsey.


Video file from Simone.



18. UNDER PRESSURE

Gail Ann Dorsey everyone, Gail Ann Dorsey.



19. LIFE ON MARS?

Thank you. Thank you.

Bom, bom, bom, bom. Bom, bom, bom, bom.

That’s how my songs end. Bom, bom, bom, bom. You know one of my songs 'cos when it gets to the end it goes (Sterling drums the beat). Except for this one. This is a new one it’s called Looking for Water.



20. LOOKING FOR WATER

What I’d like to do very much now is sing a song that you know or even vaguely familiar.


21. CHANGES

Thank you, Mike Garson on keyboards there. Alright then (laughs) this is another one that you know. (Turns to Gerry) You know that other one that they know; you know the one I mean. (Imitating Gerry’s accent) Oh yes, I know that one. I want to hear you say it, c’mon.

Gerry: I know that one.
David: We’ll do the other one that I know right (Irish accent)
Gerry: The one that they know
David: No, no, sorry the other one that they know (Irish accent)
Gerry: But we did that one.
David: We did the one that they know? Oh fuck it, let’s do it again! (Irish accent)


22. ASHES TO ASHES

This is a song both about the future and the past; in fact these two songs couple together very well. We’ve had a splendid wonderful evening here tonight, thank you so much indeed.

Ah…We leave you with these two songs.


23. I’M AFRAID OF AMERICANS


Video file from Harry



24. "HEROES"

Thank you so much, thanks a lot.

Encore

Thank you so much.


25. NEVER GET OLD


26. TRY SOME, BUY SOME


27. FIVE YEARS


28. HANG ON TO YOURSELF


29. ZIGGY STARDUST

Thank you so much Melbourne. I do hope we see you again in the not too distant future; we’ve had such a great time here. Thank you, we sincerely mean that. Bye!

Interact